Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
