Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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