So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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