He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
