her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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