Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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