next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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