I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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