i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
