Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
