just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
