Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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