If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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