i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
