she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize