I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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