You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
