I think my vagina is haunted
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize