i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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