Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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