did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
