After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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