your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
