i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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