It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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