What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
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I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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