I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Say something about gay babies.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
