We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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