Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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