Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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