we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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