i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
