The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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