I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
