I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
