She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dicks are not precious.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
