Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
