Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
