Having a random hookup so left but love u
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
