So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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