Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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