Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
