and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
