Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You are the jesus of drinking
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
