it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
