everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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