Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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