Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
