he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You are the jesus of drinking
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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