I just pynch a tree in the face
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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