I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
