oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
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