i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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