Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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