I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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