Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
