Duck Duck Cougar?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
