Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
