But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
