You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
