This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
