I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
zippers are such a cool invention
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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