this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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