She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
