The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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